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Deep thinking: way of facing certain behaviours, blaming the innocent and excusing the guilty

Tonight I was unable to sleep a wink and, I found myself thinking about things that make me crazy … I am increasingly shocked by the news I hear, and I wonder where this world will end?! Despite being about to make a comparison at first sight ‘stupid’, understanding why and the reasons behind it will help it to make perfect sense … (at least for me it does!)

BULLYING – children and young people who suffer from this type of barbaric behaviour (regardless of the degree of severity exercised in the acts, never ceases to be!), they often try to hide what happened, whether it happens once, twice or daily … Why? Mostly, they do not understand why. They feel ashamed, they are silenced with more threats and, generally, low self-esteem leads victims to think that, in some way, they are guilty, that they probably did something to deserve it, even though they cannot understand the reasons!

VICTIMS OF ABUSE AND / OR VIOLENCE (domestic or not) – victims of this type of horrifying barbarity when children or young people feel the same way as victims of bullying, try to hide, deny, feel shame and guilt … that they deserved …Why is this?

Let’s think about the society we have. A quick review! Firstly, how are the victims seen as? What are the most frequently asked questions?

Where and how did it happen?

Are you sure it happened like that?

But what did you do? I’m sure you did something … what was it?

Why do you want to be a victim? You just want to draw attention to yourself… don’t you think you’re exaggerating?!?! Forget it, YOU don’t want to ruin anyone’s life.

Now, instead of trying to understand what really happened, we try to create even more doubts and help victims to blame themselves even more. Why is it that, instead of trying to solve a problem. you try to stifle it? Hide it, as if it had been part of the victim’s imagination? Is it even questioned that it really happened?

IN SUMMARY: initially the victim is a liar, just wants attention and doesn’t even have an opportunity to be heard. When it comes, many times to the inevitable, then everyone regrets not believing in the first place … If more and more the news are the most atrocious and unthinkable, why not think, at least, as a possibility? There are stories that will be true and others that will not, but I would rather have a clean conscience of having helped someone who, allegedly suffered from a problem than, turning away and later regret not being there for the person or having simply ignored. How is it possible for mothers and fathers to put their children in these situations and then to doubt them or turn their backs in order to “don’t get” problems – according to them??? They are often the ones who try to silence their children because there is no way for them to make things public because they will be harmed or because they still need the person or family of those who are supposedly being incriminated – this is true either in one case or another. How can mothers / fathers question their children’s words and believe in someone who is nothing to them? Isn’t it their duty to protect their children at all costs and above all??? How is it that more and more stories are heard of stepfathers / stepmothers doing harm to children and the supposed mothers / fathers take the side of the guilty to the victims? Or worse, blaming those who, innocently and who were not protected, suffered due to the mothers / fathers’ selfishness???!!!

For me, I don’t know who will be most guilty: the aggressor or the one who allowed and / or (sometimes, directly or indirectly) subjected the victim(s) to such situation … For me, if the opportunities are not provided, then they have less chance of happening … It does not mean that they do not happen, but at least we are not the propellers of such opportunities. No one can ‘swear on their lives’ that they know someone 100%, not even those who have lived together for many years!!! We – ourselves – sometimes do things that we didn’t think we were capable of; how can we say that we know others if we don’t know ourselves?!? I would not be able to live with that weight on my conscience, much less having knowledge of certain situations and simply ignoring them!!! But this is me!!! Unfortunately, there are those who do not think so, but who, just think of themselves and their own egos!!! This revolts me strongly and even, no matter how hard I try, I cannot understand … it is something that transcends me!!!

Am I the only one to think this way??? Do we have the right to think this way or does it depend on the situation? Are we willing to make sacrifices for those we love or are we selfish enough to think that we have already suffered a lot in life and that we must try to be happy at all costs, if this is the only opportunity that life has given us?

Let’s think: who will be there for us when we need them??? If we do not take the correct positions afterwards, we will not be able to judge those who, supposedly, would be the ones who ‘owed’ us this, not out of obligation, but because they want to … I do not judge these people who, when these so-called ‘parents’ did not protect them, later they hope that their children will take care of them and they will do the same!!! I don’t really judge them because my position would be the same!!! Anyone who managed to do it differently I would take my hat off to them, but personally I would never be able to…

Is that you??? LEAVE YOUR OPINION AND SHARE so that this little text can help people to think and take a firm stand … Let us help real victims to be understood and to have the strength to overcome situations in the best possible way, without shame nor the guilt forced on them – because the victims are not responsible for anything!!! What they need is a friendly shoulder, someone to listen to, guide and support!!! Let’s be someone like that, we won’t turn our backs on anyone because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring!!!

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